*Hey folks! We been away for a minute and for that I apologize. Unfortunate circumstances led to a minor hiatus but we're back. So let's get right in to it!
For centuries the angry black woman has been a widespread stereotype in the United States. Personally I think that this is an unfair stereotype that has been placed on the black woman by those that just don't understand black folks period. The overall strength and confidence of some black women are often interpreted as being unpleasant and quick tempered in modern society. It doesn't help that reality TV exploits negative and volatile, finger-wagging, neck rolling images of black women on shows like "Real Housewives of Atlanta" and "Love and Hip Hop" either. There are too many images of black women in mainstream media with chips on their shoulders and not enough depictions of the strong and assertive yet caring and nurturing black woman that I know and love.On that note, we have a guest touching on this sensitive topic because it is near and dear to her and she would love some feedback. She's a working mother of two great kids, a loving wife and a dear friend. Her name is Candy Charlene Hambric-Wilson and she asks some poignant questions and raises some very good points regarding this topic.
Have you ever wondered:
Why Black women are often labeled as being angry, scorned, having a bad attitude or just being a bitch? Why do a lot of our men often stick around when they are broke or depend on us to get on their feet and when they “make it” they often turn to white women, because they don’t "bitch or complain"?
Who is most responsible for building up a black woman’s self-esteem as a child? Her mom, her dad, or both.
Does it take a real man to come in and relieve her of some of her pain and past hurt?
Since many black women make bad choices when choosing a mate, just because they feel they are in love and the person turns out to be Mr. Wrong, should she just lay in the bed she made? What can be done to stop this cycle ?
Perhaps, black women are just misunderstood. Could it be the fact that they sometimes carry the world on their shoulders? Most black women take on the responsibility of taking care of the household and children while sometimes working and going to school. Black women have to deal with prejudice in the work place, not only because of their skin tone but also because of their gender. Many feel unappreciated and do not have a great support system. It may take the head (man) to run the family but the head can’t move without the neck (woman). Perhaps, most black women have to play both parts.
What are your thoughts?
I believe black women are angry because they are overwhelmed. As women, we're intrinsically homemakers and nurturers yet, we've taken on roles that we just aren't built for. Of course we are entirely capable of successful professional lives, but we are (most of us) just naturally motherly and nurturing. The anger creeps in as we have had to take on father/husband/male roles as men have either voluntarily (abandonment) or involuntarily (jail or death) left women to do them. So many black women will try to do it all on their own because they don't have the support they need. They're frustrated and angry because everytime they fail to accomplish something that they shouldn't have had to try to do anyway, they're reminded that they have been abandoned by the man that should've been there. Many angry black women were once angry little girls who suffered and/or witnessed abuse at the hands of a black man. Often the anger is a defense mechanism black women use to try and protect themselves from further hurt. Black women are angry because there is no one who protects us! The black woman's anger is merely the manifestation of hurt and disappointment at not being loved and protected by the black man. The anger is because we as women know we need our men but at the same time often find that we can't depend on our men. Black women are angry because it seems so easy for so many men to walk away from their children and the women who support them. The bottom line is as tough and angry as black women may appear, we need our men to take the lead and be men.
ReplyDeleteVERY profound perspective Amanda...I definitely see where your reasoning for why black women might have anger issues is mostly the black mans fault, but there's is no study or documented proof that suggest that black women's anger level is elevated any higher than any other race, creed or color that has been wronged at some point in time by anyone or anything. It's a myth! A seed that has been planted centuries ago to discredit the black woman and subsequently tarnish the character and belittle the strength of the original woman. Sure the issues you stated and points you brought up occur widely in "minority" families and cultures, but unfortunate circumstances, albeit may contribute, do not attribute the overall demeanor of the black woman...
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. I agree that the plight continues and the concept of the angry black women makes it just that much easier for us to be deemed emotional, irrational and even uneducated. I do however believe that we as women of colour have it much harder than our white counterparts. The expectations in our respective" worlds" is different and even without a study, I can say we have it harder! I'm sure there are millions of angry women all over the world, but there is truth to the angry black women. Some of it isn't perceived or mythological.... it is factual. But the point I really wanted to convey was that behind the anger is a great deal of hurt. But I most definitely concur with you and your last sentence was right on! Being angry is not characteristic of all our women all the time. I merely wanted to point out a major source of our anger. Great topic!
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