UNDER THE SAME MANAGEMENT

WE WILL BE RETURNING DECEMBER 2012. STAY TUNED.

The Angry Black Woman

*Hey folks! We been away for a minute and for that I apologize. Unfortunate circumstances led to a minor hiatus but we're back. So let's get right in to it!

For centuries the angry black woman has been a widespread stereotype in the United States. Personally I think that this is an unfair stereotype that has been placed on the black woman by those that just don't understand black folks period. The overall strength and confidence of some black women are often interpreted as being unpleasant and quick tempered in modern society. It doesn't help that reality TV exploits negative and volatile, finger-wagging, neck rolling images of black women on shows like "Real Housewives of Atlanta" and "Love and Hip Hop" either. There are too many images of black women in mainstream media with chips on their shoulders and not enough depictions of the strong and assertive yet caring and nurturing black woman that I know and love.

On that note, we have a guest touching on this sensitive topic because it is near and dear to her and she would love some feedback. She's a working mother of two great kids, a loving wife and a dear friend. Her name is Candy Charlene Hambric-Wilson and she asks some poignant questions and raises some very good points regarding this topic.

Have you ever wondered:

Why Black women are often labeled as being angry, scorned, having a bad attitude or just being a bitch? Why do a lot of our men often stick around when they are broke or depend on us to get on their feet  and when they “make it” they often turn to white women, because they don’t "bitch or complain"?
Who is most responsible for building up a black woman’s self-esteem  as a child? Her mom, her dad, or both.

Does it take a real man to come in and relieve her of some of her pain and past hurt?
Since many black women make bad choices when choosing a mate, just because they feel they are in love and the person turns out to be Mr. Wrong, should she just lay in the bed she made? What can be done to stop this cycle ?

Perhaps, black women are just misunderstood. Could it be the fact that they sometimes carry the world on their shoulders? Most black women take on the responsibility of taking care of the household and children while sometimes working and going to school. Black women have to deal with prejudice in the work place, not only because of their skin tone but also because of their gender. Many feel unappreciated and do not have a great support system.  It may take the head (man) to run the family but the head can’t move without the neck (woman). Perhaps, most black women have to play both parts. 
What are your thoughts?

Dedicated to my Mom, From her Son.

No Words. For Uhuru (Barbara Lou Dennis)

                by Ayo Hakim Peay

I am anxious…I imagine on September 19^th, 1973 she was too.

I imagine her sitting in a window somewhere in Harlem. It was a cool late summer evening.

She sat with the window open and smelled the fumes of that rotten glorious city burn in a fiery red blaze towards the East that seemed to set the skyline on fire.

I imagine she turned her gaze into the eggshell painted room. The paint on the walls looked like old dry skin. 

Roberta Flack ‘s haunting voice playing softly against the whistling of the wind passing through the railroad style apartment.

High ceilings and an ambience only constructed during an error before the world found itself at War for the second time. 

The dark, hard wood floors looking like glazed chocolate in the last of the day’s shadows. 

Her skin mimicking the tone of the floor, like a chameleon.

Her youngest child, soon to be the oldest, asleep on the day bed in the corner.

Cigarette buds in the dish on an antique table.

A half empty bottle of red wine from the night before.

I imagine her short-cropped Afro. Deep dark brown and rich like her eyes.

Soft and curly hair; smelling of peppermint and sandalwood.

She would sit there, one leg on the windowsill the other dangling like a lazy feline.

Occasionally staring at the cracks in the old iron fire escape concealment that resembled an ancient mosaic in the last glimpse of the setting sun.

The twisted metal cascading down to the busy street below.

Bustling people, loud music, car horns and sirens played a cacophony that was the background music of this great metropolis.

I imagine her in a long dashiki dress, embroidered with silver trimming, like a Dhoti gown.

She wore brown wooden prayer beads around her neck. Braless and barefoot.

A “woman” in every sense of the word.

She rubbed her belly that late day on September 19^th.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her belly.

I can see her face.

Round soft jawline.

Almond eyes.

Her white ivory gap tooth smile peeking through full brown lips.

Her nose, which she got from her mother.

Her Southern attitude, and big city dreams.

She was anxious. 

Like I am now.

A bit scared

But ready.

Ready for one of life’s transitions.

She wondered about the future. As I do now.

One thing she knew was certain was that she loved how she felt giving life.

She loved to feel her children grow inside her.

And as much as she loved him

Oh, how she loved him.

She giggled at the thought that she just knew she could give him as many new lives as she could.

An ultimate form of her love for him. 

And she would. And she did.

She gave him two in the summer

Two in the winter

And one in the spring.

It was never enough for him.

But always everything she ever wanted.

All that she loved

Fought for

Worked herself to the bone for

 Cried for

Laughed for and sat anxiously waiting for each of their seasonal arrivals.

He’ll never know

He’ll never understand this love.

But I imagine somehow she knew that and loved him anyway.

Unconditionally.

Anxiously.

I imagine that night on September 19^th, 1973 that she foresaw all of this.

She’s like that sometimes.

She sees things.

Knows things.

Even things I think she knew she could have avoided

Pain she could have bypassed

Sorrows she did not have to experience

But she knew it was written and she played her part.

Played it brilliantly.

It is the spring of 2012.

I am anxious.

She is leaving now.

She has given life.

Now she awaits the transition of her own.

She’s anxious and I know she is scared.

I know she regrets nothing.

I know, somehow, she knows everything now.

Mom.

Go travel.

No more pain.

I am anxious.

As I imagine you were waiting for my life that late summer evening.

I now wait for you.

I was in that room with you on that cool September night in 1973.

As I am with you now.

Anxious.

A little scared.

But ready.

For mom,

There are no words.

You never liked using them to say things that people seem to cheaply throw so freely around.

You showed it in your actions. I knew it.

You never had to say it as I won't say it to you now.

I finally understand.

 When it's like this.

When its real.

There are

No

Words.

FOR YOU MOM

Image isn't everything (but it helps!)

We all know how important it is to keep up appearances and actually look presentable. But for some its a lot easier said than done.

How many times have you looked in the mirror and was completely happy with what you saw staring back? How many times have you told yourself to get out of the bed and get on the treadmill or get to the gym? How many times have those jeans that fit like a glove just 6 months ago barely come up past your knees?
In this age of social networking, Iphones, DVR's and movies at the click of button its easy to lose focus of your appearance and become complacent.
It's especially difficult for females to locate the motivation and desire to not only get in shape, but to STAY in shape.
And for all of those women who lie about their weight, please stop.
Stop lying to men.
Stop lying to your doctor.
Stop lying to the DMV! You're not fooling anyone!

Just because you may have found a way to hide the extra pounds with a Vicky Secret garter belt or squeezed into a certain outfit you put together doesn't make it any better either.
If you put a dress on a pig its still a pig.

Some women have gotten way too comfortable with being lazy.

Now it is a fact that some women are just naturally "big boned" and destined to be on the more curvier side of things. Some even carry it very well. ------->

This is primarily addressed to those that think they have it going on without ever putting in the work to get there. You know the kind that only post the Facebook picture from the neck up. Or the one that thinks her booty looks good in a $400 pair of Roberto Cavalli jeans but her flabby midsection is dripping over the waistband. Can you say muffin top....Let's get real ladies!

Sure there are many factors that may lead up to weight gain such as; pregnancy, depression, stress, medication, a medical condition, and i'll even throw menopause in there. But this is for the capable women. The girlfriend/wife who used to be hot as a pistol that just decided to shut it down, roll around the house and dare anyone to question or address all this new flesh she accumulated.
Did you ever think this may be one reason that he may not be that into you anymore? Hmmmm...
You know who you are!

And its time to do something about it!

No more midnight trips to the refrigerator.
Stop with the second helpings.
Leave the junk food ALONE.
Know the difference between SIMPLE and COMPLEX carbohydrates and most importantly, GET ACTIVE.
Newton's Law is basic common sense. A body at rest will stay at rest. So go for a run, jog or even a simple walk through the park a couple times a week.

Trust me, not only will you eventually look better but you'll feel better!
Love....

10 Painless Ways To Lose Weight

Trayvon Martin & Race in America

In the wake of the Trayvon Martin execution I felt it was only right to divulge into a subject that never seems to get easy to talk about. Race in America.

For those of you that don't know, Trayvon Martin was a 17 year old black high school student from Miami, Florida that was visiting his father in a gated and predominately white community in Sanford,  Florida when he was approached by George Zimmerman, a White/Latino neighborhood watch vigilante, who ultimately shot Trayvon point blank in the chest killing him. Even though there are other factors that led up to the shooting, the reason for this cold blooded murder is simple; Trayvon was black and was deemed "suspicious" and was profiled by Zimmerman as being up to no good. The family of Trayvon Martin and the nation is in a justifiable uproar because Zimmerman has not been arrested despite this clearly being a hate crime. Listen at the 2:21 mark as Zimmerman refers to Trayvon as a "F**king Coon".

I pray ever day that Trayvon Martin gets the justice he deserves but unfortunately this is not the first and it certainly won't be the last time a person is profiled and stereotyped because of race.

Whether Black, White, Hispanic, Chinese or whatever your ethnicity, racial tensions and misunderstandings in this country are just as American as apple pie....this country has came a long way from slavery, Jim Crow and the Civil Rights Movement to where BLATANT racism and segregation is not tolerated as much anymore,  but it's still alive and thriving in many well known cities throughout the country. For example, check out Huffington Post's 10 most segregated cities in America as of 2011.

ARE YOU THE LEAST BIT SURPRISED BY THIS???

Too many people still believe that race mixing is wrong and some even deem it biblically immoral to marry and/or reproduce outside of their race. I personally feel folks should be with whomever they want despite race, religion, background or sexual preference. Respect, trust, loyalty and most importantly LOVE is all that really needs to be evenly yoked, because without them it doesn't matter what flag is mutually being waved...ignorance will eventually rear its ugly head!

But lets not submerge too deep into this topic because we'll be here all day.

But until we learn to do better as a nation when it comes to race relations and equality we will continue to be disgusted and saddened by the events that took place in Florida on February 26.

If people took HALF as much energy as it takes to hate someone and redirect that negativity into respecting each other, then things like this would not happen!

We wouldn't be a country full of bigots and racists and separate ourselves from each other in the name of equality and religion. We wouldn't judge based on looks and allow how an individual is dressed to determine whether or not they are a good or bad person.

There's no telling how many more generations will be subject to this type of ugliness but unfortunately it looks like it's here to stay.
So we have to EXCEPT the fact that some parents are raising their children to fear what they don't understand.
We have to EXCEPT the fact that the media portrays certain groups and ethnicity's less than favorable. We have to EXCEPT the fact that there will always be cultural division.
Or do we?
What happened to all the DREAMERS?

Symposium on the State of Race in America on April 9, 2012 in Washington D.C.

Why Can't Women Get Along?

Throughout history there are a few things that everyone knows to be true. Such as baby Jesus is the child of God, Uncle Sam takes way too much out of our paychecks and women do not get along with each other. These are facts!

WHY can't women get along you ask?

NO clue! But I have heard numerous reasons as to why; such as jealousy, insecurity, intimidated by those she feel are more attractive than her, competition, low or even elevated self esteem and on and on..... This is why you hear so many females say "I get along better with men than I do women." or "Women are too much drama to deal with." Women can't ESPECIALLY get along in the workplace . I know this from experience! I personally witnessed this catty foolishness at my job which led to ended friendships and terminations. I swear gossip has the power to take down NATIONS!

I don't think anyone has a real and definite answer as to why women don't get along with each other. If they did I'm sure someone would've wrote a book about it and made millions.

There supposedly is an epidemic of bullying amongst kids these days but have you ever seen a clique of women at your job or school set their sights on another women? Unlike a pack of wolves who would rip their prey to shreds within seconds, women take their time to verbally and emotionally destroy each other. I'm not saying men don't have bitchy moments in the workplace but women are way more methodical and calculated. Like I said, I witnessed this on more than one occasion and apparently its more prevalent in the workplace according to an article in the New York Times titled Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work. The statistics support the fact that 40% of all workplace bullies are women and that women bully other women 70% of the time! COME ON LADIES! REALLY? LOL! 

I guess this is just one of those things in life that will always be. Like we all know that after spring comes summer, so why not just accept the fact that women just CAN'T GET ALONG.

RELIGION AND GAY MARRIAGE....HELP!!!

Happy Monday Folks! Hope everyone had a fun and restful weekend but its time to get back into the swing of thangs though. As you know by now time went ahead an hour over the weekend so days are longer, nights are shorter but the weather is going to start getting pretty dope. SPRING BABY!

Speaking of the weekend, I had an interesting conversation with a friend regarding gay marriage and why most states are reluctant to pass legislation that would recognize saddme sex unions. The first thing that came up was religion and the bible. Turned into a real debate of course! While I do know the Bible does address homosexuality, it doesn't explicitly mention gay marriage/same-sex marriage. However, the Bible condemns homosexuality as an immoral and unnatural sin and uses all kinds of other colorful descriptions against homosexuals such as, abomination, detestable sin, shameful, unnatural, lustful, indecent, unrighteous and will not inherit the kingdom of God. Now I never considered myself overly religious and I don't claim any organization, denomination and I never allowed myself to get brainwashed to sip just any kool aid. But what I do respect is the power and word of God. But I also have numerous gay friends that I love and respect and I believe for some of them being gay wasn't a CHOICE they made its just who they are. And if we all are children of God and created in His own image then why create those that are clearly religiously frowned upon?? Having a hard time with this one...HELP ME OUT HERE!

JUST DO IT ALREADY

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Follow up to Battle of the Sexes

First and foremost, HAPPY FRIDAY FOLKS!

Another week is in the rear view mirror...the weekend is upon us and some of you even got PAID! Pay some bills and then treat yourself to something that makes it all worthwhile....whether its a DRINK or a MINK...do YOU!
Now I've been reading the posts from the 'Battle of the Sexes' topic and I understand and agree with most of what was said, but there's one thing I just can't shake......
I had NO IDEA that "open relationships" were so common! Is that a solution to monogamy in some parallel kind of way? Are there actual long term, loving relationships that can survive having the freedom to engage and interact sexually outside of their relationships? Shouldn't unions of the heart, mind, body and soul be held to a higher standard? If not then whats the point of it all....
HUH???

Have a great weekend folks and don't forget to click the "Join this site" button.
Love.

INSPIRATION!

JUST SOMETHING I PENNED WHEN I WAS ASKED "WHAT'S YOUR INSPIRATION?"

INSPIRATION by J.Peay

Inspiration is the first thing you see when you rise-
Inspiration is a scent from the oddest aroma to most familiar-
Inspiration is falling in love with your newborn the second your eyes meet-
Inspiration is that rousing rush of electricity you feel when challenged to inspire-
Inspiration forms from the cusp of your soul to the brink of humanity-
From the most minuscule detail to the most obvious eyesore-
Inspiration is taking two steps back just to move one step forward-
Inspiration is incomplete yet full of motivation-
Inspiration is God granting you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change-
Inspiration is challenging-
My most poignant pieces percolated purposely and was pulled from promiscuous and predicated passages aroused primarily from a lil word play-
Inspiration was the culprit in that previous rant :-)
Inspiration lies between let there be light and the promise of a new day-
It lies between Cocktails for Two and Reasonable Doubt
It lies between a Dream and Inauguration 2008
Inspiration is I love you and I want to do better-
Inspiration is unpredictable, perpetual times infinity-
A world without end-
Inspiration is freedom, inspire.

Battle of the Sexes

I'm a little puzzled! We all know that relationships come and go. Marriages dissolve and even some friendships don't last forever. Everyone expects their friend, lover, spouse or whatever to be loyal. In a perfect world this would be fine, but reality is anything but perfect. Apparently, especially for MEN! A recent online poll showed that approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside of their relationships compared to only 14% of women. WOW! So why is it that women want their boyfriends, husbands, significant others, etc., to be faithful? Is a lifetime of monogamy too heavy a burden on anyone, including WOMEN?
HELP ME OUT HERE FOLKS!


http://www.semenspy.com/ <--- yall be careful out there!LOL!

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